Well, I've left you all in great suspense, haven't I? We ended up with about 7" of powdery light snow and some pretty ferocious winds. One large spot of yard in the back is completely bare and another had a pretty good sized drift. We live in the city limits so the streets get cleared our fairly quickly. It's nice to have a fresh snow for Christmas, it makes everything so festive.
I'm pretty excited about the next several days, my husband and I are now on vacation until Jan. 2. Whoo hoo! We took this week off last year and really enjoyed ourselves. It was nice to have no plan, no design, no need to be anywhere other than whatever we decided to do that day. As much as we love to travel, sometimes staying home and doing absolutely nothing is the best way to recharge.
I've been thinking about the families affected by the tragedy of Sandy Hook. This holiday season is going to be very difficult for them. I've purposely not watched the news, the coverage of the funerals, the speculation about why...I just can't. I don't think the media has any business shoving a camera in the face of someone who's grieving, there should be ZERO airtime devoted to the young man who committed this awful act and frankly the speculation and yippy yapping and talking head pundits are making me want to move to the Arctic and take my chances with hungry polar bears. The NRA of course wants an army of weaponized guards in every school. How about malls, restaurant, work places, places of worship, movie theaters and every other public area that's been targeted by those brandishing weapons and inflicting terror and mayhem?
What we need--rather than a call to arms--is an overhaul of our mental health system and how parents are supported when coping with mentally ill children. We rally to support parents and families and children suffering from cancer or muscular dystrophy or other childhood diseases. Friends shave their heads in support of pals going through chemo. Teddy bears are donated, money is raised, walks are walked and banners hung, but yet with mental health, the stigma is so great that no one talks about it.
Mental illness has affected my family and those I love. I would suspect it touches more lives that any of us know, be it a case of SAD, or situational depression, eating disorders, addiction, or any other illnesses that manifest themselves that prevents the sufferer (and those around them) from living their lives joyfully, fully and with purpose. When any one of us is hurting, everyone suffers, society suffers and we cannot move forward without addressing this very real issue.
I don't know enough about the history of the care of those with mental illness, my opinions are based solely on what I've read and presume to know. Years ago, those with mental illness were warehoused in institutions, often against their will. They were misdiagnosed, if at all, and left forgotten and alone without any rights. I'm sure it wasn't all bad, there is never all one or another, but by and large, the institutionalization of the mentally ill has a pretty poor history and record. Rightly, this was changed and the system was overhauled to give those with mental illness the right to make decisions for their own care, their own outcomes and to be participants in their own well being. As I understand it, an adult cannot be taken into safety without their consent, unless they are in immediate harm to themselves or others. I struggle with this to a degree because it seems that those in immediate harm tend to isolate themselves. How would someone know to help them or encourage them to seek help? The young man in Sandy Hook has been described as a loner, hard-to-reach and isolated. Was his mother trying to get him help? Is that way he triggered such a horrific response? Would he have been less likely to behave the way he did if he'd been institutionalized at some point a little farther back in time before he was "too far gone?"
I'm merely speculating that perhaps it's time for the pendulum to swing a little the other way. There has been advances in science and medicine that allow doctors to better understand the complexities of the brain and it's functions. Perhaps it's time to recognize that when someone is listening to the lies of mental illness, they aren't able to make good decisions for themselves and their care and have a way to intervene that keeps them and those around them safe. Are the rights of the one more important than the rights of the all? I would hope that if I were behaving in a manner that gave my loved ones reason to worry, they would step in and help me and put me someplace safe to protect me from harm, but more importantly, those around me. I don't have the right to hurt others because my brain might be broken. Is it humane to stand back and let someone fail and be in pain? I don't know if I agree with not my kid, not my problem, or they're an adult and they have to fail or succeed on their own. Don't we have an obligation, as one human to another to afford shelter, comfort, food and care?
Are people who commit evil acts evil? Was the young man in Sandy Hook just evil that had an opportunity to create chaos? Was the devil working through him and mental illness is just an excuse to relieve him of culpability? Am I throwing a theory out that time warps us back to the middle ages?
I think there are weak people for whom evil and wrong doing are an easier path than doing right and good. It takes courage and strength and character to walk a life of decency. I think there are a lot of children born to people who just don't give a damn. Children are treated as trash, or pawns or objects of abuse. Not every child born into a life like this turns out bad, nor do they turn out good and noble. But I have to wonder how many enter into our communities without the moral compass of knowing right from wrong, decent from indecent and removed from knowing love and compassion?
Much has been said about gun control, violence in tvs or video games and our culture of violence. I think these are symptoms, but not the root cause. I enjoy violent video games but I have no desire to go hurt someone else. I enjoy apocalyptic scenario books and movies in a way that's nearly unseemly for a 50 year old woman, but I don't envision a world that is so bleak, nor do I desire it. If I had a gun, I bet I would enjoy shooting it. But I am very certain I wouldn't want to shoot someone with it. I do not know what the root cause is, however mental illness and lack of mental health intervention and support--and too much freedom for adults suffering from mental illness has to be part of the cause.
The families of Sandy Hook will endure. There will come a day when the gut-wrenching, breath-taking, all-encompassing grief gives way to acceptance. Those darling children and courageous adults won't have died in vain. Their lives had meaning and dignity. There is nothing the loved ones can do to move through the process any faster, other than to abide. Abide and abide and one day, the sun will rise and they will begin to feel emotions other than despair. God walks beside them, and will gladly carry them in their darkest hours, even if they don't believe in God or his love. The nation carries the burden with them and cries their prayers to heaven to help ease their pain.
Peace to them, peace to the rest of us.
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