Instead, I've decided to write about entitlement and gratitude. They are at opposite ends of the spectrum, aren't they?
First, the entitlement. I work in a CCRC, or Continuous Care Retirement Community. It's a large facility in the heart of our small city's downtown and affiliated with a world-famous health care system. Go ahead, google it, I don't mind. I'll wait. I am the Director of Dining Services here and have been in this position since 1995. Our residents are retired professional people from all over the world. Most are extremely wealthy and many are emeritus staff from the world-famous health care system across the street. There are over 200 residents living in the independent living apartments, another 48 in assisted living and 32 in supportive care, and another 30 or so in the sub-acute unit that serves the world-famous heath care system. We have a very upscale menu in our dining room and at some point in the future, I'll delve into the process and systems we have created to deliver exceptional creative and nutritious foods to our residents.
We have what is called a Resident Dining Services Advisory Committee that meets once a month. It's a formal meeting with a chair, a secretary, a liaison to our Resident Council and minutes that are kept and approved. The committee is the voice of the independent living side to Dining Services. We've worked very hard to develop this committee into a working group of dedicated volunteers who speak for the whole and the good of the all, rather than the personal preferences of the few and the nit picky complains of the really petty. At least that's what I tell myself when promoting the cause. In reality? It's the personal preferences of the few and the nit picky complaints of the really petty.
We met yesterday and right off the bat, we got hit with complaints about the Thanksgiving Buffet. We served well over 300 people, by reservation, in 2 hours. The cruise industry should take lessons from us. The food was delicious! The servers were lovely and the residents loved their festive Thanksgiving uniforms! However, the "gravy, or lack thereof, was dreadful." We asked, "what made it dreadful?" "It wasn't the usual thick turkey gravy one expects on a Thanksgiving holiday!" Chef explained that (as per the well published menu) the gravy was a recipe that included cider, sage and white wine. It was called "Cider Herb Pan Gravy."
We then moved to the discussion of the GRATIS Christmas Eve Shrimp Chowder event to be held in our large meeting space following Vespers Service. It's an annual event where we offer free sandwiches, shrimp chowder, tomato soup, fruit salad, potato salad, slaw and Christmas treats to residents, family, friends and employees. It's a lovely way to ensure those who have no where to go on Christmas Eve, or who are here at work, have a chance to enjoy some cheer.
When we shared the menu (which hasn't changed in years because it's tradition) the question came up about "Will there be diabetic and low-sodium options available?" Needless to say my tongue was firmly clenched between my teeth and my brain was working overtime to shut down the snark that was working it's way between hemispheres. Do you know how hard it is to remain emotionally neutral and keep a straight face when the only word that leaps to mind in the giant EFFENHEIMER? It's a FREE meal. FREE. If you don't like it or don't find something you want, you aren't obligated to partake! It's FREE!! Twee little turkey sandwiches on twee little silver dollar buns! Twee little bits of fruit floating in some creamy pudding-cool whip concoction that put Minnesota potluck on the map! And it's all FREE!
We endured that hell for an hour. I am sure those living in the East Coast in Sandy-ravaged areas will be happy to know that somewhere in this great country, some people have so few problems they can fuss about the wrong kind of gravy and the offerings on a free buffet.
Which leads me to gratitude.
I am grateful for my husband. He told me about a little encounter he had last night on his way home from work.
He also works for the world-famous health care system and as he came out of his building to head to the parking ramp where he was parked, he encountered an elderly priest in a long black winter coat, his priest collar and a dark fedora pulled low. The Father was walking slowly and looking very lost. My husband said he looked like he was crying, with tears rolling down his cheeks. My husband asked him if he could help him. The Father said he had been at the clinic and came out a door and didn't recognise where he was and needed assistance finding his friend's condo where he's staying. My husband said, "oh that happens a lot! There's so many different doors and exits that you can go in one and come out another and be really turned around!" He gave him some directions (it was only a few blocks away) and the Father thanked him and headed on down the street, slowly, but with more purpose.
My husband shared that moments after he walked away he thought maybe he should keep an eye on the priest to make sure he arrived safely at his destination, so he ran to his car in the parking ramp and was able to navigate around the rush hour downtown traffic to the street where he'd directed the priest to walk. Sure enough, the priest was still working his way up the hill so my husband drove into an adjacent parking lot and pulled up next to him and got out of the car and asked him how he was doing.
The Father looked up very surprised to see him! He asked my husband if he'd followed him. My husband said he did, and that he wanted to make sure that if the Father was lost, it'd be much warmer in his car driving up and down looking for the condo than continuing to walk around on a cold winters night. The Father said he recognised where he was and that the condo across the street was his friend's. He blessed my husband and thanked him profusely for keeping watch over him.
When my husband shared this story, I saw God working in him and through him. I am grateful to have a man like him in my life. He watches out. He looks over. He keeps others close and cares for them even when they don't know how much they need it. I got pretty teary-eyed when he told me this last night. My husband wasn't looking for recognition or thanks or gratitude, he was just sharing a story of an encounter he had with an elderly man lost in a confusing city. I pictured my father, my dear sweet Dad, perhaps turned around in a strange place, frustrated to the point of tears and some kind soul reaching out to him. Or my Dad doing the same to help a friend who was lost.
In a day that started out dealing with my frustration with entitlement ended with gratitude for the blessings in my life, including the big guy, Shane:
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