Shaking If Off

I've been reading some of my past posts and have concluded this blog is not going in the direction I'd hoped. It's really depressing! I didn't realize I had so much unresolved/unsaid/unfelt stuff left inside related to the loss of my parents. Maybe the long dark winter and the "window" of time (Ash Wednesday to Pentecost Sunday) bring a lot of memories and emotions to the surface that I had put off dealing with. At the time you bob along like a cork in a current and when you finally stop moving, you notice just how banged up you are. Time for me to step back and let those memories and reminders settle back down to background white noise. They are a part of me like my grey hair, I can't get rid of them, but I sure can hide them!

My original plan for this blog was to be a happy foodie kind of place with observations of life and the world around me.  I need to get organized and figure out how to do tags so that my archives aren't all jumbled up (where did I post that recipe again??) 

What's new in our world? HB and I have been working with a landscape architect to come up with a new backyard plan. We had the entire back wooded area cleared of invasive buck thorn last fall which gave us more yard to landscape. We also want to incorporate a nicer hardscape in place of the poured concrete patio. A fireplace/pit, pergola and water feature are on the wish list. The first plan was lovely and incorporated every detail, but came with a really hefty and alarming price tag. We are now in the whittle-down phase of determining the best math that balances form, function and financial frugality. I am really excited to get the project underway, but I think the nursery that is going to do the work is really backed up with orders as our spring was so wet and cold projects were delayed.  Every discussion about plantings includes the two biggest questions: Will this survive in the rain shadow of the black walnuts and do deer like this? No to the first and yes to the second scratch those plants off the list!

I've been doing a lot of cooking outside and I love it. It's so nice to grill out and not have to futz with cleaning up the stove. I marinated chicken thighs in chardonnay, olive oil, shallots, garlic, Dijon and a huge handful of chopped fresh herbs (rosemary, thyme, basil and oregano) and grilled those out last night and topped them with butter sauteed fresh spinach, red bell peppers and mushrooms. I included a wild and brown rice Parmesan risotto and a salad. It was delicious! 

Little and Big Toby (HB's sons) were over for Father's Day and HB had fun hanging with them. Little Toby is home for the summer after finishing his freshman year up at the U and Big Toby came down for the day to hang out. He's graduating from the U this winter with his degree in mechanical engineering. I made coffee-crusted ribeye steaks with bacon porter sauce. I'll have to post that recipe--they were fantastic. I made some ginger mashed sweet potatoes and cole slaw to go with.  It got several big thumbs up from the menfolk.

I'm still following a no-wheat, no-sugar, no-HFCS, no-processed food diet and feel so much better. My IBS symptoms are gone, my arthritis pain is gone and most markedly, my anxiety is gone. 6 months ago I was considering seeing my doctor about getting anti-anxiety meds I was feeling so overwhelmed and afraid. But that's gone-vanished. A google search did find some links to mental health issues and wheat consumption. HMMMMMM.  I'm also not going to complain about my weight loss--I'm down 15 pounds and going strong. I'm frustrated by some of my restrictions; I can't have nuts and I get hungry mid-afternoon and don't have a good snack (other than cheese or sausage) to fall back on. I'm trying to limit my fruit servings to breakfast and lunch. If anyone has a suggestion, I'd appreciate it. I can have small quantities of sunflower seeds but no peanuts, cashews, almonds or nut butters of any kind.  I don't limit quantities of food, so I don't feel deprived as I'm not counting calories. I didn't start this eating plan to eliminate my IBS symptoms, I just took a hard look at my diet and realized I was eating a disproportionate amount of flour and sugar. So it seemed like an easy way to revamp my diet. A week or two in and my IBS symptoms disappeared. I googled flour and IBS and FODMAPS and voila! There's the connection. I think it makes it easier to stay on a 'weight loss' diet when you know the food you're eating is going to make you feel like crap. 

This weekend I'm heading up north to help my friend CK butcher chickens. I am not sure how much help I'll be...I might be helping drink alcohol and cheering them on from a safe, non-splatter, non-feather-flying zone. I can run the vacuum sealer like no bodies business!  CK brought me one of her chickens from last summer and it was fabulous and gigantic. I have a few on order for this year. I hope they don't have names. HB? Tonight we're having BBQ Bob. Or maybe it's Charlie.

Wish me luck and strong stomach.  :-)